Alive At My Funeral

'Jerusalem, my happy home' solemnly being sung by the choir

I see my body, lifeless, white, cold, stiff. 

I see those I loved, and if my soul still allows, still love, looking sad and worn out, eyes swollen from all the tears their broken heart forced them to shed. 

If only they knew that I was so close.

There goes the sermon, this catholic priest of the catholic church I religiously attended, robed in purple, talking about my glorious life.

My daughter flipped through the funeral programme and I see me, she sees me, we both cried, this would be my last chance to see her, yet, no matter how loud I scream, she will never hear me. The silence has etched grief in her heart. 

Now, the mass is over. I had requested to be interred without the typical Nigerian style ceremony. No noise, no parties, no asoebi. I died! I am not going to give you a reason to have a party. 

So, the casket is being lowered, and if eye ways were road ways, they'd be flooded, for I lived well. 

Alas! They couldn't keep me around for as long as they would like.

Ripe old age, wrinkled and tired.

I died well.

Now, I can rest in peace and bid farewell to the bustle of being a human.

I may like my skin better as an angel.

BABY FEVER, RIGHT TIME FOR THE NEXT BABY?

Get over it!

Yes, I said. 

And No! You do not need to have another baby right now.

The long break is over!!! Hear the bells ringing?

We are back, guys!

It has been since forever and I am excited to be back, so much to write about, believe me. 

Bad breath is a killer!

Bad breath is a killer!!!

Google "bad breath" and a thousand and one articles are available, ranging from what causes it to how to get rid of it and more. 

I really don't care about the causes of bad breath. If you have bad breath, you'll know!!! Don't wait for me to tell you before you get help. 

I'm not talking about the "early morning" bad breath now.

They say that one is normal. 

I am talking about the 24/7 bad breath, the one that stays after you have brushed, the one that rents a 3 bedroom apartment in your mouth and even has an AC to help it blow real well when you open the doors!!! 

I'm talking about the bad breath that chases everyone from the pew you sit on in church. 

That kinda bad breath that makes people talk to you while facing the opposite direction. 

Oh Jesus! That one that messes up the digestion going on in my stomach and makes me almost puke. 

Ewo!

I know when I have bad breath, I know. 

So if you want to lie that you don't know and you insist that all of us must die like the rat that died in your mouth, carry on. 

Only Jesus will save you. 

But if really you don't know, then your friends are wicked! They can kill you! I pray you find a real friend someday that will tell you what you're suffering from. 

The Christian kinda people...

When someone says "I go swear for you and e go catch you" and that same person says "God loves you, I'll pray for you" I laugh a thousand times. 

Don't pray for me with the same heart and mouth you've used to curse some other person. 

What happened to "LET GO AND LET GOD."

A pastor that prays for a thief to run mad without hope of ever getting healed would still share the grace after service. 

You do all the bad and still occupy the front seat in church and you tell me not to judge you? 

Christianity is hard mehnn, coz all I do is judge you in my heart but my lips only say "who am I to judge" to serve the purpose of Christianity and pray God ain't mad at me for doing the natural thing. 

The Italian Dream and the hope to be called an "AKATÉ" when you return.

The Italian dream.

I hate that I like to put down my thoughts in words and many people would have had enough of me by now but you guys urged me to enjoy my service year and taking notes is part of the enjoyment. 

Benin, like every other Nigerian city has a great population of youths. Ambitious youths who have this great and fantastic will to succeed, to "blow", to have it all. 

They just don't have a will, they have a way too. 

It's an actual way. 

It's the road to Italy.

I don't know the route but I know you somehow get to Morocco, Libya and so on. I know you'll spend nights in the desert without food or water. I know some will die along the way, maybe in the boats and their dead bodies will get thrown into the water. I know when you finally get to Italy, it becomes clear that it wasn't worth it. 

What better life did they promise you?

They told you you would be a boss in weeks? 

Did you believe them? 

Well hello, you just bought a ticket to modern day slavery coz from what I've gathered, you'll be made to work your ass off and give a percentage of your earnings to the person who brought you in. 

This is not always the story but in most cases that begins with a brainwashed dream to "blow overseas", this is what you hear. 

I thought people knew better in 2016. 

Nigerians still subscribe to this idea of a better life in Italy? 

Just last week I saw a video on Facebook where a girl was being raped! It was recorded. That's just the height of man's inhumanity. 

She was Nigerian and a sex worker. She probably got enticed by the amount of money they were going to pay her that night. Two guys, one girl. Weird fantasies. Babe wasn't really as experienced or forth coming as they had expected so they decided to forcefully get what they were paying for. 

One was busy trashing away from behind while the other was choking babe with his tiny d*ck. They spat on her, dumped their eruptions on her face and slapped her at every chance. 

I cried. 

I cried because this babe had a choice but she was deceived and followed whoever to Italy. 

The shocking thing is, someone told me that all these stories we hear about deceit is false. She said these girls know what they are getting into but coz its gonna be away from familiar faces and with the promise to make enough money, they still choose to take the long road to Italy. 

If you know you're not educated, or even if you are, and you know you're not getting into a country the right way and you even know you know no one there, please stop to think about your mother, your father, your siblings and your dignity. 

The grass is not always greener on the other side. 

Ritual Fee

I was tired and really had to sleep... It had been a really long day at work and I wasn't going to sacrifice my sleep for whatever reason, not even snapchat. 

I struggled with my key, opened my door, ran straight to the my bedroom and hit my bed real quick. I didn't even take my dress off, neither did I wash off the plenty make up on my face. 

It wasn't up to 10 minutes when I heard a man making a call right behind my bedroom. I still don't know why we live downstairs. I don't like living downstairs. Everyone passes in front or behind the house. 

Baba God please o, we want to be landlords too.

Now, I'm used to the noise you get from living downstairs. But this particular call was the most unusual and I still don't know which tenant made the call coz the voice was not familiar.

The call was an ordinary call with lots of whispering and few high tones. I still closed my eyes trying to fall asleep until I heard this.

"I've been telling him, he has to drop 200k for the ritual fee since he no get liver to do am." 

Jesus!

It's either this person was too sure that there was no one home or he just did not care if anyone heard him. That was how the sleep cleared from my eyes. I just couldn't sleep. Sleep became the least of my worries. On a norm, I can be very curious, I would have peeped to see who was making that call but I figured it was better to lay quietly on my bed than check out who it was, after all, my life is still precious to me and to my family. 

The caller kept on saying really scary things. 

"He no get liver and I don warn am, you go help me make we organize the money for am, he go pay back later."

I noticed my curtain was open and I thought he could see me, if I had attempted to drop the curtain, he would have noticed me. So I decided to leave the bed to lay on the floor. As I was trying to get off the bed, he paused. 

Ah! My life was going to end for nothing. What did I ever do to deserve this kind of end. I was too weak to pray, I just trembled in fear.

He continued his call a few seconds later and that was a huge relief. What an irony. 

I assumed my former position o, couldn't risk my life. My heart was beating out of my chest and my head became too heavy for me to carry. 

He ended the 10 minutes call and left, but I was just there, awake, scared, in deep thoughts and couldn't sleep. What if he saw me and was going to kill me later? That was all I could think about. 

Till this day, I wonder who made that call, why it was made behind my window and who is paying the ritual fee. 

Calls like that should be made in your toilet, Under your bed or behind your own window! 

Ritual fee! It's the first time I would ever hear something like this in my life. 

It's been 4 months, the ritual must have been done by now.

My funny experience with a guy in Benin.

 It's not surprising anymore that the so called Christians who shout and chant the name of Jesus always and are quick to bind and cast foul spirits are more scared of these same spirits than those of us who actually acknowledge their existence. 

I'll try hard to write this without breaking my phone right now because the frogs in my compound are busy making weird noises and the pastor at God's glory ministry isn't making concentration easy either with his tongues and songs.

 

Monday, September 19, 2016 was a very eventful day in my life. 

I took a risk.

My colleagues at work think I should have studied theatre instead of mass communication, Abeg, same noni. 

I met a guy, let's call him Ax, although Ax isn't too far from his real name, add two more alphabets and you'll get the name, but let's try to help him cover his small ego that's left. 

Now, I met him in the most unusual way. 

He was the cause of my headache a few weeks back when the HOD of the department screamed at me on his account. I gave him attitude and never saw him again. UNTIL 2 weeks ago when we had a compulsory INEC electoral procedure training at Eghosa Grammar school. 

My friend Chinaza and I had crossed over to the other side of the road, impatiently waiting for a bus to take us to new Benin where we would take another bus to wherever we planned on going to that day when this old car pulled over and signaled me, I was polite enough to see why this person wanted to talk to me. That was when I recognized the face and realized that I was going to get a free ride home. 

He spent most of the 30 minutes it took to get home apologizing for the other day and I kept assuring him that I wasn't angry. 

We got to my apartment and he offered to take Chinaza and I out for a drink, I agreed to go out coz I had not seen the cool parts of Benin since I got here. 

I changed into something else as I had been wearing the Khaki all day. 

Chinaza and I got ready and met him outside my house... Omogbai's house. 

Mr Ax kept talking about how he wanted nothing to do with women and how he only wanted to have baby mamas, he seemed heartbroken from previous relationships. 

But wetin concern me? 

I tried to be nice by showing concern, "ah, Mr Ax, you've got to give love a chance and start seeing relationships as a necessary path." 

What a waste of mouth movement. 

He drove down ekenwan road and stopped at Tips bar, they say it's one of the lit places in town. I didn't think so tho. 

Our evening was a short one, we had to all go home early. 

My thoughts about Mr Ax was all nice, although I noticed some usual guy lies but he was good to be a friend. I thought I needed a few friends in Benin but I guess I'm fine with Rita, Chinwe, Ifechukwu and Chinaza. 

Fast forward to Monday, sept. 19. 

Mr. Ax showed up at my door, we were supposed to have lunch together but I was too hungry to eat out. I made better hot Eba with garri from Illah and twinned it up with good obé Ila cooked with Uziza. 🙈 I love food.

Since I had already eaten, we opted for a drink out. 

Again, we drove to another place still around ekenwan road, I don't know what they call the place but it wasn't the slightest bit comfortable. 

Men were smoking too close to me, I couldn't enjoy my Amstel Malta with all that smoke. 

He brought up the issue of him not liking girls for serious relationship and me being the sister that I am kept telling Bros to chill and search. 

See, I know players, I know all their pointers, so when he was giving me cool stories, I just started playing along. Advising him to settle down and be happy. 

He told me he loved Jesus and all that plenty stories that follows the I love Jesus speech, you know, the I go to church, I pray, God's got my back and more. 

He changed topic to how amazed he was that he could feel comfortable with a lady, ME! 

Lmao... Instantly, it was like the switch in my brain came on, I started flaunting my 18k gold ring in his face o... Talking about Bae and my love life. 

Lol, I had to change whatever idea he was having. 

The funny thing is guys never come straight. 

Players never come straight! 

He never mentioned love, likeness, feelings at all... 

We left the bar at 6/6:30pm. 

He drove to my street and parked right in front of my house. 

He came into my tiny apartment to say goodnight. 

He sat, he got too close, I snapped. 

I asked him to move, stop getting too close but maybe I was speaking Igbo. 

When he refused to have sense, I hit him with my famous line. "I have a kid" but it didn't work. Who was I kidding, this is a guy who prefers babymommas. That wasn't going to work. 

I took my lies to another level, "I was raped, I don't like being alone with guys, maybe you should go. I also don't believe in Jesus so stop telling me about him." 

Damnnnn girl!!! You can lie!!! I heard me tell me. lol

He immediately drew back. Ding!!! I win!!!

He attempted to pity my made up situation but I wasn't having it. He tried preaching, I refused to hear it. 

I started with the no Jesus thing again and he was visibly worried. 

He came close again and his pants tore. 

That shit was funny o. 

I laughed, but he was scared. 

He said I tore his pants mysteriously and told me I had some powers but I shouldn't hurt him that he was going to leave. 

Oh!

This was going so well, like a scripted scene. 

I didn't expect a 30something year old man to be so scared. 

He was stuttering and shaking, sweating real bad. 

I took control of the situation and assumed the role he had created for me. 

I laughed uncontrollably and I guess that made him more scared. 

I had this authority in my voice all of a sudden.

"Come here! Sit down! I said sit! Look at me!" 

He obeyed every single instruction. 

He had tears in his eyes.

He looked like one who had met his end. 

He begged me to let him go and promised never to tell anyone what he thought had happened. 

When I finally let him leave, he ran. 

He ran out of my house. 

I followed him to his car and tortured him a bit more before finally asking him to leave. 

I can't make out why someone who is a player, obviously not in God's great book right now claims to have a perfect father-son relationship with God yet he jumps at the slighted make believe spiritual attack. 

This guy couldn't even bind the spirit he thought was manifesting in me. 

He couldn't call on his Father. 

Instead he was busy begging me not to hurt him and to let him leave. 

Well, I don't actually blame him. 

He lives in Benin, the center of the most unusual happenings in Nigeria. 

So when you try to get too close to a girl and your pants tear and she tells you she doesn't believe in Jesus, you should be scared. 

Most especially when she's light skinned and the hair she's wearing is human hair. 

But guys, sometimes we just want to be friends. 

And when we wear a ring, we don't do it coz it's fashionable. We wear them coz we are in a committed relationship heading to the alter. 

Stop pushing your luck.

You might just meet a real bad ass witch some day. 

 

Lmao. 

This is a true experience. 

I have a recording to back it up too. 

Mr. Ax, get a life. 

Stop speaking phonee. 

Be responsible.

Stop being foolish.

Avrilforte 

 

My first BM experience

So bae's friend's then fiancé now wife nicely asked me to be her bridesmaid and I said yes. The yes was said amidst a lot of doubt and skepticism, but I said yes and everyone was happy.

I guess I planned more than the bride. 

Every morning routine dance rehearsal, skincare, more eating trying to get fat, still I lost more weight even the fashion designer screamed. 

This post is not about too much talk, it's about pictures.

I loved the wedding, I loved the dress, I loved my makeup, my gift bag, my hair, the party, the lights, the music, especially Tecno's baby panda, omg the food, everything. 

I met amazing people and yep, I'll love to be a bridesmaid again.

So Isioma Emeka-Ofili don't forget our deal. 

Benin Bread

There was a rumble in my tummy going wumbala wumbala wumbula. 
It meant that I was hungry and breakfast time was near...

I quickly boiled water so I could make a hot cup of tea. 5 minutes passed and my tea was ready... I walked to my kitchen to get my BONANZA bread. I got it yesterday, the bread is nice.

A few slices down, I grabbed the next slice and was confused. 

Why wasn't it separating! You know slice bread sometimes like forming "don't take my aburo away" like say no be the same destination dem they go. 

I sha tried and tried to separate what I thought was the aburo/egbon kinda slice. Since it wasn't separating, I brought it out to see why and behold! 

Please take a look at the picture. 

This is what Benin people call slice bread! 

Why didn't I buy regular loaf and slice it myself then? 

I couldn't hold back my laughter when I saw this slice. 

BONANZA BONANZA BONANZA!!!

I've sha had breakfast, e no kuku concern d bread. 

I've been dancing since I had breakfast...

Guess huge slices of bread does something huge to you!

‪#‎Ayomititi2016‬ on my mind...

Too many things to do this morning.

The African kinda Deliverance

At 12:45am, the charismatic leader was right in front of me, speaking in some strange language and getting ready to lay his hands on me, just as he had done to the people before me.

As a teenager in my early teenage years, I used to love deliverance services and all that came with it. The music was that of warfare and the prayer warriors were ready for battle. The priests came ready in their casoc, holding a cross in one hand and holy water in the other. 

"Bia bia bia muo nso bia"

The war song they always sang. 

Ok, back to the charismatic leader, he laid his hands on my head and I lost balance. Not the kind that would make you suspect me o, it was just a loss of balance. 

What the heck!!!
Those warriors didn't care, I sha lost balance and that meant I something had to be cast out of me.

I was directed to another room where those who had "fallen under the anointing" waited for priests and charismatic members to deliver them. Some had already started getting their deliverance and it was a good show to watch. 
One lady was confessing to being a queen of a kingdom somewhere. 

Wow!!! I saw a queen that night.

Ehen, so one charismatic brother came to meet me where I stood quietly and held my hands. He anointed my hands with oil and began his prayer session. 

Come out!

I say leave this body!

Hian, what is coming out kwa!

I just stood there looking at him, if I wrapped my hands, he would separate them like I was locking whatever was supposed to come out.

Surprisingly he started commanding the marine spirits in me to flee. He asked me to confess and be saved! Lmao... 

This is no home video o! This is my experience. 

Say what!???

Na so Bros begin push spirit up and down, he eventually gave me a quick light slap on my face. 

What was my offense? I guess coz I refused to fall or maybe it's the whole deliverance package.

After the slap, I gave him what he wanted, I fell.

I fell and remained on the floor for a few minutes. Then, he started sprinkling holy water on my and thanking God that I had been delivered.

Hallelujah! He won the battle!

What a joke.

I stood up after my short drama and he told me to wait behind after the vigil.

That was the day I stopped believing in the casting and binding of spirits. I won't honor your invitation to a deliverance service. Well, if I'm bored with nothing else to do, yes. 

Don't get me wrong, I receive my deliverance directly from God. That's how I roll...

Do you have tales you'll like to share too?

#Edokopa

Make sure you join the OBS" After the swearing in ceremony, Miss Ivy made an announcement about screening for the OBS, it was to take place at 4.pm that Wednesday. Everyone I knew that went through NYSC insisted I joined the OBS, however, there were conflicting reasons why I should join. Some people wanted me to join just for favorable posting, others wanted me to join for the minor benefits like evading parades and getting extra food, while those who knew my heart wanted me to join coz they knew "professional talking" is my life! Don't believe me? Please come and check my phone's voice recorder... Lol. The queue for the screening was not as long as what people had made me imagine, I waited... It got to my turn and that was the easiest interview ever. "Read this please, pronounce these words please, Corps, corpse, cop. What do you do best?" That was it??? Piece of cake Later that evening, I got a congratulatory text, I made it to the OBS Work started immediately, we were to wake up before everyone else and walk down to the OBS to set up the parade ground, speakers and other stuff and we were to go in last, coz we had to tidy up after events and when there were no events, play music and talk till 10. Joining the OBS meant I couldn't participate in the paegentry and even without the OBS I wouldn't. My platoon officer, platoon leader, members were all on my neck to do the miss NYSC thingy, when no be me fine pass, me with my figure 1. They harrased me at every opportunity, I started making up stories that I was pregnant and couldn't do strenuous activities and that also, joining the OBS had already eliminated my legibility to participate... Omo see beef! That's how they started talking in the platoon that I was proud and annoying, that I carried OBS on my head like a crown, that my over sabi was too much and more... Stuff that really hurt. Well, they don't know me, so! OBS was an awesome experience, even OBS people say I dey form, lol, i just did my job diligently and that to them meant I was over zealous. The thing is, when I have duties, I do them completely with all of my heart, ask my mom. So people often think I'm over doing it or doing eye service, that's the Nigeria we live in. We had people in the OBS who only came when they felt like, but not me, I was always there. Those that only came to famz the staff, those that came to show face, those that came to eat meat, those that came only when they had shows and those who were only coming to set P with staff and corps members. If I joined the OBS for posting, maybe I would have been stunned on the last day, but thank God, God got my back. Ehen, I did not know I could anchor events, corporate MC career I see o... Miss Ivy always gave me the opportunity to start most of the social events, the NYSC anthem, national prayer and calling of performances. It became easy. PLEASE O, BOOK ME FOR YOUR CORPORATE EVENTS O, I AM GOOD AND WILL DELIVER! I thank God I experienced the OBS. The only thing I regret is actually giving up every other thing for the OBS. At least I sha did the parade thing a little, I did my man-o-war drills, I was there at all events. I've got tales. Shout out to the dedicated and professional guys at the OBS, who gave up their fun time and sacrificed a lot to be at the OBS... DJ Shegzy Tola Bernice Bola NIJ Zee Bae Atom F babyy Muyiwa Oluwasegun Temitope Itoroh Victoria Mc Ray MercyThe

Batch A16 good to go!!!

My birthday fell on Friday, April 8, 2016, naturally, since it fell on a Friday, the reaction from everyone was to party to stupor but unfortunately, my party was on a sick bed in my house at Ikorodu Nation. The funny thing is that I had earlier treated malaria and was so sure I would not be having a relapse but surprise surprise!!! Malaria came and with a bad blow. It was so bad I had to take injections for 3 days, believe what you may, I stood still, gave no drama (only in my mind) and ye! I am healed. Hallelujah!

Ehen, back to the things I am seeing now o. So corp members are busy celebrating their POP today. For those who don't know, POP means Passing out Parade. They are officially done with the joke called NYSC and can finally relax for a few weeks before strolling into the realities of job hunting. Can I be realistic please? Ok thanks, I will.

People are busy popping "champagne" or some cheap imitation of expensive champagne because they survived the crazy 12 months of forced national comedy, served with a large bowl of sufferhead. Well, I would be celebrating too if I was passing out today.

What's my own now you're thinking abi?
Well this is my own; When I needed a space for my media attachment a.k.a IT, I walked every corporate street of Lagos, wore every cheap corporate dress I had and even those I borrowed too, gave every genuine and fake smile I could afford, all that with a beautiful written letter from my HOD kindly asking that we be given a chance to prove our excellent training in media matters. Mtsheeew. Nobody was willing to give a 21 year old a chance to prove nada! They gave fake assurances ontop job Wey dey no go pay me for o. My saving grace was Olawande, my friend, she was already working at Niche PR and Events at Ilupeju, nice place, nice boss, she even paid. Wande had to talk to the boss and persuade her that I was just as good before I could get a media attachment. What's my point? This is supposed to be my first job hunting experience and I was sooo disappointed. If I was disappointed with my first trial, imagine those brethren out there who have been out of school since forever and still can't get a job. I hope you're beginning to understand.

This is why I am of the opinion that rather than go partying with the small allawee you managed to save, just hold on to it and start your new life with it. It could serve as help with transportation, could even feed you for a few days.

Also, If you have entrepreneurial tendencies, biko nwannems, grab any chance you get and start creating jobs, for you and others who need jobs.

I'm just hearing people shout "federal government keep your Alawee, my millions are coming" Amen o, your millions will come, but you've got to calculate how your millions will come. I bet it will take a while before you start seeing them if you only want to pop something after every success.

I know I have probably misyarned along the way, but I've sha posted and its only my opinion. Let us wait and see how my own will be, I hope its not going to be the case of pot calling kettle black *covers face*

POP people, do and go so that A16 corpers can come and start.

Ngwanu bai bai

Uncle Men! All we want is for you to defend us...

Uncle man, when will you start giving aunty woman the respect and total undiluted love she desires and indeed deserves?

When will you realize that aunty woman is your new family?

Your new project?

Your newly acquired responsibility?

Don't get me wrong uncle man, I am not saying that all she is to you, you are not to her o, but honestly, really, lets get honest, you know aunty woman treats you like her baby and she loves you like no other.

See, its not about the pet names you've invented for her o, I mean, calling her cotton candy or agbalumo doesn't mean that she won't get pissed after you do some nasty sh%t to her. For instance, I can't find a condom wrap in your pants and you feel that because you have said sorry and with the sorry you even attached one yeye sweet name that I will just forget and smile again. Biko Uncle Man, rest jor, I ain't Jesus Christ of Nazarath.

Uncle Man, we appreciate that you spent quite a sum to marry us, we know how expensive Nigerian weddings can be, I am sure we say thank you at every chance we get. In the kitchen, bedroom, sitting room, library, office space, every where, we carry a million thank yous' in our hearts and we try to express like another billion when we can, so get this, we thank you a thousand times per minute.

Now that you know we appreciate you, its time for you to know another thing.
You should know that every time you don't defend us when the need arises, you shatter our very delicate hearts.

As a boyfriend, fiancé or husband, you occupy a huge chunk of the space in our beings. Although sometimes we try to form independent woman, Na lie, we need you. There's nothing as comforting as a man standing up to tell other men or women to shut the f*@k up and get out of his woman's business.


I wanna share a really short story.

Please continue:

A beautiful couple I know have been married for quite some time now, sometimes the road is bumpy and other times its smooth. (🎼 its not an easy road...nooooo nooooo its not an easy road).

Well, the bumps started appearing all of a sudden when the wife started noticing that her husband places her on the discussion desk with his friends, these friends never talked about their own wives oh. Hmmmn...

He publicly made fun of her imperfection at every opportunity he got, either at a family function, dinner, with friends at a bar, anywhere sha. He would say stuff like "my wife has the loudest moans during sex" "my wife snores" "she always adds extra salt, it burns my tongue". Surprised? I'm not making this up, so if you're surprised, be, but believe.

Poor sister Wife did not know about all these until last year when she was in his car with one of his friend's who has a loud mouth about other people's business. He jokingly said to her, "ah! iyawo, hope you didn't give oga another sleepless night with your rhythmic night music." Was sister wife confused? Oh yes, she most certainly was. What did she do? She smiled and gave him no reply but looked at her husband laughing away, he seemed to have enjoyed his friend's sarcastic question.

She didn't say anything until they got to their destination but she completely ignored what her husband's friend had said earlier. She held her anger deep in her heart and waited to explode at home but when they got home, she couldn't.
She quietly sat on her bed and asked her husband why...

Part 2 soon.

2016 so far.

Sunday rice. What is it about Sunday rice in Nigeria! Why must we eat rice on Sunday as if the rice diet isn't enough. Well, my long talk today ain't about Sunday rice, nope, its about my new found love, ME. Wonder why I started with rice? LOL 😁 coz rice is cooking and the aroma is soul reviving. These days, I have started to love myself a whole lot more than I ever used to, I live like I've got a limited number of days to live and I have learnt to enjoy my existence. Things I was never able to bring myself to do, I have finally done and some, in the process of doing. Lets see... 1. I now wear make-up, I even highlight my brows. LOL. The hustle is real sisters and brothers in the lord. 2. I have taken a break from trousers. The thing tire me, I mean, air doesn't get to your legs, you feel really uncomfortable and the first thing you do when you get home is want to tear the trousers to give yourself some air. If we could abandon bras too, I'll be the first. 3. I now like to cook. It's not like I ever hated it but now I willingly waka into the kitchen and make manageable meals. Maybe it's because I know I'll soon be a Mrs. Thank God for No. 3 ESPECIALLY. 4. DRIVING. Even God must be proud of me. If you go back to a post I made sometime ago, you'll understand why I am so excited about this. I had real fears about driving but 10 days at driving school did the trick. I've got confidence and got the strength to move anywhere now... Thanks to Gracious God driving school, Ikorodu. 5. I bought a really expensive dress in march. I mean really expensive to me o, to you it might just be some cheap nonsense but to me its an achievement. Before now, if the dress pass 5k count me out. But I went overboard and purchased a dress that's even more expensive than someone's salary. Chineke! My God is turning my poverty mentality to Millionaire mentality, lol, but seriously, when you're out of school and in the labour market, you have to make some adjustments to certain things in your life. Growth is important. 6. I am in the process of setting up my own money making business but I have to shattap here. I'm still waiting for the sunday rice 😢